My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
