He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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