Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I bet he comes in French.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How does it feel to date your dad?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
