good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
