When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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