I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize