There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sobbing to NWA
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