Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
