Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
