i just google imaged poop.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize