There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
