Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
