So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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