It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
