I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
