Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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