Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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