my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
