The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
