Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
