is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
