I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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