i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
