You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
