Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
