yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
