In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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