On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I lost the right to judge tonight
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize