Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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