wanna go halves on a baby?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
