dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
