do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize