Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
3 2 1 whiskey
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
