I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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