so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A bitchslap is in order.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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