I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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