I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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