What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize