Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
