I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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