At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
