He asked me if I "almost moaned"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
