We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
