I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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