he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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