If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
