He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
