she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
