Your tits are I can't wait for
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
