We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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