its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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