I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
