I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
you never un-have a 4some
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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