she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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