I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
