We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I touched a dick in church today
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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