Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
