you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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