I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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