barbara walters just said penis...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
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