So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We have started to decorate penises.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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