his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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