You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
