Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
