once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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