I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
