This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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