Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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