how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm passing your future prison.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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