do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
