I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
