I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
